Sunday, June 16, 2013

From One Pot to a Few Kettles.

I’m going to write this without pointing fingers.  I don’t have enough fingers or time to attempt the task.  In fact, this isn’t about any particular person.  If you think this is about you, rather than get mad, try sucking up your anger and then taking it for what it’s worth.  Perhaps you can learn something about yourself in the process.  Now, to the point:

You are not as strong as you claim you are.  More than that, no one is fooled.  The majority of your friends accept you for who you are to them: just another person, wrapped up in there own dramatic crap-fest.  Every time you go on about your strength, what you’ve been through, or how unusual you are, there is a good chance that someone is literally, or figuratively, rolling their eyes at you.

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Facts: 
  • We’ve all been in fights, gotten hurt, and wanted to kill someone.
  • We’ve all had someone we love die.
  • We’ve all committed, or been around, drugs abuse.
  • We all know a criminal or two.
  • We’ve all seen or heard something we wish we hadn’t.
  • We’ve all had confusing sexual desires and misunderstandings.
  • Our parents screwed up.
  • We screwed up.

Don’t get me wrong: you’ve been through some pretty messed up junk in your life, but, barring victims of the extremes (e.g. disaster survival, vivisection, dehumanization, enslavement, forced participation in murder, etc.), crap-fests are not really that unusual.  Probably, yours is only special because it’s yours.  Yours matters to you, the people it directly effects, and not really anyone else.  If it did, there would probably be a charity in your name.

Listening to you, there is nothing you can’t do, overcome, or haven’t done.  That’s fantastic.  You are epically great.  Just look at you!

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The problem is that I don’t believe you.  I’ve seen you.  Most of us have.  I know you have significant limitations.  We all do.

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In fact, every blog post, facebook update, or tweetapolooza you commit reinforces this to each of us.  The need to remind us that your year/month/week/day/morning has been rough, and that, by the grace of your own inner strength, you’ll pull through, tells us that you really just want to maintain your pride while begging for sympathy & encouragement. 

That great scar, or pain, you wear like a medal brings you no honor if you constantly shove it in the face of everyone you meet.  In fact, it loses power.  People are no longer shocked or concerned. Eventually, it looks like a crutch you have to prop yourself on every time you interact with someone, or else your character would fall over like a cardboard cut out.

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And then there are the memes.  Great Gawd’s Nethers, will there never be an end to the memes?  It seems that every idiot teenager or “artistic” adult with an internet connection has created a meme to reinforce their essentially unhealthy prejudice in a one-size-fits-all .jpg.  These are neat things, sometimes, but it’s marketing trickery.  Really.

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You may think it’s profound and want to feel profound by reposting it, but, before telling the world this “gem” of knowledge, trying examining what it means.  If it were such a valid point, and it’s something you live by, why are you in the emotional turmoil you’re in?  Why are you trying to make yourself feel better by feeding it to everyone else?

Some of this stuff is just pure idiocy.  Here are a few I made, some time ago, to illustrate the point:


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See, there is nothing wrong with wanting sympathy or encouragement, but you’re lying to everyone while you do it.  The lie is irritating to your friends.  If they like you, they play along.  If they don’t care, they brush you off and keep moving.  There is a fine line where irritated friends turn to enemies.

So, you have a choice.  You can continue constantly forcing your self-image fantasy on everyone you know, or you can shut your mouth and be who you really are.  If you choose the second, your words and actions will show your character, and your less-than-tactical image-masturbation can take a load off.

If you really are that strong, show me, don‘t tell me.

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